ZW. Lets take a closer look

Ok. So that may be a bit too close. Sorry if he dibbled on you. At least he didn't try to take a chunk out of your arm.
Now if the worst was to happen and you where caught up in a zombie outbreak, do you know what you would do? For some reason I don't think many would know what to do. So that's why I decided to make this handy little guide for every one.

The Type
Now if you want to survive you need to know what type of Zombie you are working with.
There are two types. And I've touch on them already. I'll give a gold star to who ever can name them.







Well done. You're right. You have the slow moving and fast ones. For sense of clarity the slow ones shall be known as Brain Dead, while the fast ones will be known as Speedsters. These aren't official titles but it makes it easier to distinguish between the two.
Now if you did have a break out Pray that they aren't Speedsters. If they are, you might as well shoot your self right away. They are bastards to kill and if infectious, a whole nation could be taken out in a few days. They are quick, agile and vicious. Brain Dead are easier to handle, but no less deadly. Especially if you get surrounded by a big group. Both types can be handle in the same way but obviously Speedsters will be harder to handle. The main reason why they become so fast is because they have no pain barrier and rigormotis has not set in.

Now you got work out why the Zombies are here. If you can work it out you maybe able to save humanity. Become the hero of the world and then have a nice, big and shiny statue of your self in every city. Now they are many reasons why Zombies may come about. I start with the one that is easiest to handle and resolve to the worst case sernoios. Now these Zombies can be either Brain Dead or Speedsters.

• Voodoo Zombies

If there is any type of Zombie up rising then this would be the easiest to handle. Mainly because these type of Zombies do not crave flesh. They always have a master, normally a Voodoo Shaman or Bokor and will only follow his orders. The master is also the one that has bought them into being. You may not be able to distinguish them from normal humans but there are signs. Either whited out eyes or vacant stares and super human strength. The reason for the super human strength by the way is because there is no pain barrier nor a conscience hold back. Unless you were truly angered you would never hit someone to kill them. Maybe to stop them or slow them down but never to kill. Now where Zombies rarely have a conscience they don't have this control. Back to the Voodoo Zombie. To get rid of them you just need to break the spell or defeat the Master.

• Parasite Zombies

This are like the people infect with La Pagea in resident Evil 4 (see they are Zombies =0) ).
Now the parasite normally infect a human that is alive and can either kill them or keep them alive. You'll find that it is normally the latter. Now once infected with a mature parasite there is no saving you. You might as well shoot anyone who is at this stage. Possibly the best example apart from the people from Resident Evil 4 is the Head Crab from Half Life.

(Look at me following in Nintendo's footsteps and Re-Hashing stuff).
Now due to the nature of the parasite, infection is slow and you find also easy to contain. There are two option available to yourself in this situation. Either take out everyone or try and find parasite zero (also known as the mother parasite) and kill that. You made me lucky and find that that get rids of all of the little buggers.

• Virus Zombies

These zombies spread like wild fire. One bite and you can gaurente that you'll be a moaning, chomping zombie in no time. And your only hope is if there is an antidote. If you're a scientist or not friends with one then I would look to try and live the country. They crave flesh and have an an unsatable appitate. They will regain slight memory of their past lives and will congregate together at place of social bearing. Places like a shopping center or a cinema.

• Hell's Zombies

You've seen Dawn of the Dead right? You haven't? You really should. Great movie. Both of them. Anyway. There a saying in the movie. "When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth." If this is the situation then you are screwed. Simple as really. There is no infection that is passed on. It's just a case that if you die you become a Zombie. So if say you where to die from cancer and not have been bitten then you will still become a Zombie. Being bitten by one shouldn't cause zombification. But then again why risk it? The only way to solve this situation. Pray.

So now that you know your enemy what are you going to do about it? Have you got the know how of MacGyver to make a weapon out of anything?

MacGyver. The Only Tool You'll Need. Man I loved that show. Let's get back to the point.

Do you have the resourcefulness of a Boy Scout to not starve? Would you even know how to take out a zombie.
No? Well have no fear. Koobs is here. OK so I may not be as cool as MacGyver but I do know my stuff. I have been watching films and playing video game probably before I could even talk. Here's a list of things that may just save you life.

• Always have a baseball bat handy. If not a bat then something long and blunt.
• If you don't have access to something long and blunt then you'll have to use cutlery. Preferably not a spoon (what you going to try and get spoony with a zombie?) But at least a fork if you have no long knifes. Also not were I'm going with the size of the weapon. You want to keep as much distance as possible.
• Now as soon as you hear about an outbreak you want to get as much water as possible. Also if you live in a big community consider leaving now. If possible try and leave the country and going overseas.
• Get as much water as possible.
• If you can get a car and there are a lot of infective then you may want to run them over.
• Actually, anything is a weapon. If you trow it, slash with it, just cause some kind of damage in general with it then it is a good weapon. I guess spoons could be useful.
• Try to damage the head. Remember due to no pain barrier breaking a limb isn't going to mean anything to the undead.

Those are just some of the things that should help you if you need to survive a Zombie outbreak.
Ice Koobs